Wednesday, December 26, 2012

2012 in review (aka the only list that Frank Ocean will not top)

First up, the singles of 2012. Singles by the same artist are doubled because I'm lazy. It's not listed in any order either because I'm lazy. Let's get to it, shall we?

1.     Angels- the xx: the best track off their latest album. Just listen to it if you haven't already.

2.     We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together/ I Knew You Were Trouble-Taylor Swift: the '1-2' punch of the Swift this year was strong. I have the bruises to prove it.

3.     Losing You- Solange: a Knowles I can stan for. Beyonce, step aside please, your talented and sartorially inclined baby sis is here! (I think I just described the dynamic of my relationship with my younger sister in that as well #awkward)

4.     Baby Come Home- Scissor Sisters; if this doesn't make you want to tap your feet and sing along, then I give up.

5.     I Awake- Sarah Blasko: sometimes, I like to listen to Sarah Blasko and pretend I'm edgy and cool.

6.     My Gun- The Rubens: sounds like The Black Keys, but better.

7.     Different- Robbie Williams: one of his best songs ever, especially in recent years (I say this as a major fan). Heartfelt and beautiful, the video also proves how badly he should delve back into acting.

8.     Madness- Muse: I love Muse, but the last few albums have been a struggle to get through on their first listen. 'Madness' served as a refreshing break from their OTT-ness (we are not going to talk about 'Survival'. At all).

9.     Primadonna- Marina and the Diamonds: all I ever wanted was the world too, Marina. Bonus points for her genius tweets.

10. Girl Gone Wild- Madonna: I did not get the hate for this song when it was released and it continues to baffle me now. 

11. Thrift Shop- Macklemore and Ryan Lewis: you know you're onto a good thing when a 60 something year old ethnic man requests this song to be played all the time. Also, one of the best videos this year.

12. Bad Girls- MIA: bad girls do it well. But what is 'it'? #questionsformia

13. Every Night I Say A Prayer- Little Boots: she finally finished her second album and EVERY NIGHT I SAY A PRAYER that this song is on there (see what I did?)

14. Born To Die- Lana Del Rey: Need I say more? This song grabbed me by my non-existent gonads at the beginning of the year and refused to let go.

15. I Love It- Icona Pop: So fierce. So sassy.

16. Battle Scars- Guy Sebastian and Lupe Fiasco: first single I've liked from him in awhile. Plus he acknowledged my mother accosting him in Westfields on Twitter, so we're practically BFFs at this point.

17. Something New- Girls Aloud: GO GIRLS, G-G-G-GO-GO-GO! My body was ready for some new music from GA, though I would argue 'On The Metro' and 'Every Now And Then' are better than SN. (They didn't make the cut due to arbitrary rules that exist in my mind)

18. Pyramids- Frank Ocean: I like this one, don't sue me please.

19. Sweet Nothing/Spectrum (Say My Name)- Calvin Harris and Florence and the Machine: a pair of UK number 1 singles for this duo. I approve wholeheartedly of this pairing; the flawless ginger queen and the smexy Scottish DJ.

20. Lego House- Ed Sheeran: Rupert Grint makes an appearance here for this incredibly catchy and sweet tune.

21. Call My Name/Under The Sun- Cheryl Cole: double whammy from the Geordie princess. Where CMN is another Calvin Harris produced hit (like the shy sister of 'We foudn Love'), Under The Sun relies on the singalong bridge and chorus. Plus the double entendre of 'watch the sun go down on me/go down on me' *insert wink*. Isn't that what pop music's about peeps? (answer: yes)

22. Locked Out Of Heaven- Bruno Mars: I went from 'meh' to 'THIS IS MA JAM!' with this track in a matter of weeks. Why? BECAUSE YOUR SEX TAKES ME TO PARADISE, THAT'S WHY.

23. Laura- Bat For Lashes: beautiful and rousing. I thought about using this for my sister Laura's 21st in two years time, but it's about a sad party girl, so not really appropriate at all.

24. R U Mine- Arctic Monkeys: I don't use this word often for I am a prude and an immature young woman, but this song is incredibly sexy.

25. Skyfall- Adele: imagine Shirley Bassey doing a cover of this Adele stylee. I know I am.

26. 212- Azealia Banks: Great song, but I feel like she's already peaked.

27. Dancing With A Broken Heart- Delta Goodrem: shame this went nowhere chart wise as opposed to 'Wish You Here'. Definitely one of her best singles.

28. Your Body- Christina Aguilera: it's been a few years since I liked a Christina song, so this will do.

29. Timebomb- Kylie Minogue: good for K25 and a banging dance tune, but I'm going to need something more for the next album.

30. Diamonds- Rihanna: doing her best Sia impersonation. I don't care for her so long as she's not Instagram-ming photos of her and woman hater Chris Brown and telling us to #phuckourselves because #Naviisstrong. Yes, I don't understand that either.

Best Albums of 2012 IN ORDER

10. MDNA- Madonna

A good, not great, album from the Queen. Highlights: Masterpiece, Love Spent, Beautiful Killer

9. Devotion- Jessie Ware

Minimalist RnB, excellent late night tunes here. Highlights: Wildest Moments, Running

8. Coexist- The xx

A tighter, cohesive LP that improves on their already brilliant debut, but works better played in full. Also emphasises their love of one word titles. Highlights: Angels, Fiction, Try, Tides.

7. The Haunted Man- Bat For Lashes

Less piano driven then its predecessor and more synth-y, bar the lead single 'Laura'. Still chill inducing though. Kudos to Natasha for also posing for the NSFW cover. Highlights: Laura, Oh Yeah, A Wall, All Your Gold

6. Magic Hour- Scissor Sisters

IDGAF, judge me all you want (looking at you JB Hi Fi server 'they're still around?!?' me: 'erm, yes' :|), but I legit still love SS and this album didn't disappoint me, though I can definitely live without 'San Luis Obispo'. Highlights: Only The Horses, Inevitable, Let's Have A Kiki

5. Halcyon- Ellie Goulding

Captures the heart-ache of a relationship gone awry perfectly. Add this to your break-up album collection. Listen with kleenexes though. Again, works better played from start to finish- there's no real 'singles' on here. This seems to be a trend with albums in 2012. Highlights: Figure 8, Anything Could Happen, My Blood, JOY, Hanging On ft Tinie Tempah

4. Take The Crown- Robbie Williams

It really does sound like Coldplay meets U2 in some parts. Hook laden from start to finish. Highlights: Candy, Different, Into The Silence, Reverse

3. Abbey Road Sessions- Kylie Minogue

Subdued, acoustic and tantalising. The hints that she's given us with various arrangements in concerts lead to this collection and it's a joy to listen to. I refuse to listen to 'Wow' or 'Never Too Late' in any other incarnation now. Highlights: Hand On Your Heart, Locomotion, On A Night Like This, Wow, Never Too Late

2. Electra Heart- Marina and the Diamonds

So close to the top! A case of sophomore effort trumping debut here as she gets those hits gurl. Highlights: Homewrecker, Primadonna, Lies, Power and Control, Teen Idle, Fear and Loathing

1. Born To Die/Paradise- Lana Del Rey

This was the album of 2012 for me. It delivers on every level from start to finish, not one filler track found. The EP Paradise rounds out this era with quality tracks such as a cover of 'Blue Velvet' and the haunting 'Bel Air'. Though 'my pussy tastes like Pepsi-Cola' will never cease to make me stop in my tracks and leave me dumbfounded (life, choices)
Highlights: THE WHOLE ALBUM. Born To Die, Blue Jeans, Video Games, National Anthem, Summertime Sadness, Radio, Without You. EP: Ride, American, Cola

Special Awards:

Underrated Sleeper Album That Everyone Missed: Holiday Trip Of A Lifetime- End Of Fashion. No buzz for this at all, which is a shame because it's not a bad album in the least.

Sad Panda Award:  This award goes to an album that I had really high hopes for but it just didn't turn out to be all that and a bag of chips. Anxiety- Ladyhawke. It's not terrible but really just not as great as her debut. #sadpanda
Runner Up: Our Version Of Events: Emeli Sande. Again, not bad, but not as amazing as I had hoped. MOAR UPTEMPO PLEASE EMELI

That concludes 2012 in muzak for me. Peace out.