MET Gala 2013: Punk is dead

That's according to 90% of this year's attendees at the MET Costume Gala. The theme was 'Punk: Chaos to Couture' and sadly, very few actually wore anything remotely punkish. If this was any other formal event, some of these outfits would be amazing but it's a COSTUME THEME gala. Go crazy. Go nuts. Wear something different for a change. Does anyone listen to me? Negatory.

Having said that, there were some winners and inevitably, losers. Shall we? I've roped in my BFF and famed fashion photographer*, Kat, to provide some insights into this hot mess of an event.

*NB Kat is not a fashion photographer.

Pics are not my own, they're from ONTD and Google, idk...

BEST: Punk Couture Perfection

Rooney Mara 

This is more goth than punk, but she just pulls it off so well. Although, if she had come as Lisbeth that would have been even better.

Christina Ricci

Wednesday Adams looking flawless in this tartan number. It's punk! It's couture! It's a dress that suits her AND the theme! Everyone else, take notes.

Kat: Plaid is one of those patterns which often screams picnic rug, not in this case at all.

Sarah Jessica Parker

I would like to take the time now to personally thank SJP for making an effort every year and keeping things interesting. That headpiece was the fiercest thing I saw from this year's event. A faux-hawk. #dies

Kat: Embracing all things that are punk without going over the top

Anne Hathaway

YOUR HAIR ANNE. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR HAIR. This look is sexy and, what the French call, 'dangereuse'. Me likey.

Kat: Sheer perfection (Annie: lawl)

Florence Welch

Neo-punk from the goddess Flo. Here, she is demonstrating her 'come hither' face, right before she knees you in the groin.

Emma Watson

Miss Watson, you minx you! This is how you do sexy without slutty. yes, it's a lot of skin but it's approrpiate here- it's punk ffs. As usual though, she keeps it classy. Because that's just how she rolls.

Kat: Simple clean lines. Stunning.

Madonna

My queen serving some Anjelica Huston realness. 

Kat: FAIL! You have shocked us in the past with your outfits, but remember modesty is the key. There is no need to have so much working at the same time!

Lilly Collins

Kat: Working those bushy brows to her advantage! With or without the studded jacket, Lilly has managed to successfully grasp the theme of night. (Annie: Gold star Lilly!)

Donatella Versace

Kat: Ohhh Donatella, a classic black punk couture look that is timeless for the ages.

Annie: The dark ages, when she was born *AGEIST ANNIE ALERT*

Honourable Mentions

Gwyneth Paltrow

Love Mrs Martin, and she looks good in this dress but pink is not punk.

She should have worn this number or something like it (and a bra)

Kat: NHFT. She looks like Emily Blunts' eye make-up from the evening.

Kylie Minogue

Aside from the fact that this is Kylie's first appearance at the MET Gala (get that American promo gurl!), she  did look stunning in Moschino BUT it wasn't punk. 

I would have picked this Chanel look for her to rawk

Sienna Miller ft Tom Sturridge

It must be opposites day because I actually like what Sienna's wearing here. As for the homeless man next to  her, we'll talk when he decides to cut his hair *le sigh*

Elizabeth Banks

Pantsless and proud.

The artist formerly known as JLo

Do cougars have spots? No? *scribbles out joke*

Kat: Ladies take note, this is how you werkk a dress. (Annie: see also werk, work and werq)

Elle Fanning

Kat: The colours in this dress are mesmerizing. 

Annie: She's staring into my soul or preparing to become the Swan Queen

Daisy Bevan (center)

Kat: The shoes remind me of the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland but it strangely works with this outfit.

Annie: Or those hard boiled lollies.

Eve 

Kat: There is a lot happening in this lace and leather ensemble, but she makes sure that the dress is not wearing her. 

Annie: The lady next to her in the black dress and I are both admiring Eve's bravery for wearing strategically placed panels.

NHFT

Trampire

No. A thousand times...no. She looks like a tampon. Next.

Beyonce

MTE, guys. MTE. Tacky. House of Dere-no.

Kat: Just like the flame motif, the skirt, gloves and MATCHING boots need to be burned. Simplicity is the key.

Nicki Minaj

Bad posture. See kids, this is why you need to sit up straight.

Katy Perry

Not interested. I have nfi what this is. Thanks for playing Katy!

Kat: If the theme of the night was the Byzantine Era, Katy would have nailed it on the head. 

Kimmy

*cries*

Kat: I’m calling it….Kim is suffering from pregnancy brain. 

Sky Ferreira

Kat: This is considered to be THE fashion event of the calendar, can you at least bring some class to your glittered slip

Annie: This was the best photo I could find. Sky is on the left btw. I think her 'petulant child playing dress-ups' look is very punk though.

F for Fail to Punk

Miley Cyrus

Kat: Two words…try hard. Also, word of warning don’t stick your fingers into the electrical socket next time.

Annie: I love it and I hate it simultaneously

Gisele Bundchen

Kat: Something is missing here…could it potentially be more fabric?

Annie: Nevermind the dress, the Skrillex esque hair and faux- rock chic hand gesture is filling me with rage. UGH.

 January Jones

Kat: If you are going to bedazzle your eyes, do it right.

Annie: She's in character for 'Mad Men 2035: Betty's revenge' in which Betty Draper is a cyborg.

And that's a wrap! Here, have some fabulous Anna Wintour to cap it all off.

Toodles!
Annie A (and Kat)

Music Listography- Day 2: 20 Albums You'd Bring On A Spaceship

If you were, hypothetically speaking, leaving planet Earth on spaceship or any other inter-planetary space travel vehicle (perhaps a TARDIS), what albums would you bring with you for the journey?

A thought provoking and challenging question is the topic for today's post. I sadly couldn't make it to 20, but I may add to this list later. I think I was being particularly harsh on which albums deserved a spot here, mainly because these are the albums you potentially will be listening to the REST OF YOUR LIFE. IN SPACE. Where no-one can hear you sing.

1. A Rush of Blood To The Head- Coldplay: Like my own 'Sophie's Choice'.
2. Greatest Hits- Queen: A must.
3. Young Americans- David Bowie: I love this album from start to finish.
4. Best of Bowie- David Bowie: Two words 'Modern Love'. Plus, he's an alien. AND there's 'Starman' and 'Space Oddity' and MAJOR TOM to consider. 
5. Lungs- Florence and the Machine: Flawless.
6. Happiness- Hurts: Moody and ambient.
7. Light Years- Kylie Minogue: If only to play the title track on a spaceship. I have to, it's my only chance.
8. Born To Die/Paradise- Lana Del Rey: Another perfect record (s).
9. Ray of Light- Madonna: Moody and ambient.
10. Rudebox- Robbie Williams: Necessary for the synths.
11. Recurring Dream- Crowded House: I won't leave Earth without this.
12. Greatest- Duran Duran: If I didn't play 'Planet Earth' during liftoff, there would be some very pissed off people.
13. Overpowered- Roisin Murphy: Another favourite of mine.
14. Spiegel im Spiegel- Fur Alina: Classical piece that I couldn't live without.

I guess there's not a lot of 'classic' albums on there, and two appearances by Bowie. Plus 4 Greatest Hits compilations- is that cheating a bit?

Bowie thinks otherwise.

What do you think of the list so far? Think my time in space would sonically suck? Needs more Eno? Tweet, Facebook, Tumblr me your thoughts or leave your thoughts downstairs.

Music Listography: Day 1- Top 20 Favourite Bands

I've decided to do a '30 days of' esque theme here on the blog in accordance with the book 'Music Listography: Your Life in (Play) lists'. I don't know how many lists there are because I'm too lazy to count (what's new?)

So, the first list is 'Top 20 Favourite Bands' and this proved to be more difficult than I expected because a)what did they mean by 'band'? exclusively rock groups or are girl groups and boy bands included here as well? and b) do I even like 20 bands?

To answer these questions:
2) I took a leap and said yes to pop groups being included here. It's my list so, whatevs.
b) Turns out, I don't.



On to the list then.

1. Coldplay: need I say more? It's going to be a requirement that any future love interests must love them too (or at least be willing to go to their shows with me).
2. Take That: 10 years ago I didn't really know them. 8 years ago, I hated them. Now, I consider them one of the best groups around.
3. ABBA: defined my 90s childhood and early noughties teen years.
4. Duran Duran: Oh, to be a teen in the 80s *le sigh*
5. End Of Fashion: underrated band. Their second album, Book of Lies, was the soundtrack to my first year at uni.
6. Eskimo Joe: 2006 was the year of the Eskimos for me. I think I listened to Black Fingernails, Red Wine every night that year. Such a perfect album.
7. Florence and the Machine: they're a band, everybody! Flawless and perfect.
8. Franz Ferdinand: A Scottish tour de force. Best memory is opening the first pages of 'A Clockwork Orange' played along side 'The Fallen'.
9. Queen: because of reasons. 
10. Girls Aloud: one of the greatest girl groups to hail from the UK.
11. Bee Gees: those harmonies tho.
12. Scissor Sisters: I love their campy weirdness. Plus, I much prefer their version of 'Comfortably Numb' to Pink Floyd's original. 
13. Sugababes: Like Girls Aloud, you know a group is good when their b-sides are just as coveted as their a-sides.
14. U2; I debated putting them here but 'New Year's Day' kind of sealed the deal for me.
15. The xx: too soon? Maybe. 
16. Phoenix: Dug up their back catalogue post- Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix

That's all I have for now. Let me know if you agree/disagree/ are raging about my choices on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr or in the comments

2012 in review (aka the only list that Frank Ocean will not top)

First up, the singles of 2012. Singles by the same artist are doubled because I'm lazy. It's not listed in any order either because I'm lazy. Let's get to it, shall we?

1.     Angels- the xx: the best track off their latest album. Just listen to it if you haven't already.

2.     We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together/ I Knew You Were Trouble-Taylor Swift: the '1-2' punch of the Swift this year was strong. I have the bruises to prove it.

3.     Losing You- Solange: a Knowles I can stan for. Beyonce, step aside please, your talented and sartorially inclined baby sis is here! (I think I just described the dynamic of my relationship with my younger sister in that as well #awkward)

4.     Baby Come Home- Scissor Sisters; if this doesn't make you want to tap your feet and sing along, then I give up.

5.     I Awake- Sarah Blasko: sometimes, I like to listen to Sarah Blasko and pretend I'm edgy and cool.

6.     My Gun- The Rubens: sounds like The Black Keys, but better.

7.     Different- Robbie Williams: one of his best songs ever, especially in recent years (I say this as a major fan). Heartfelt and beautiful, the video also proves how badly he should delve back into acting.

8.     Madness- Muse: I love Muse, but the last few albums have been a struggle to get through on their first listen. 'Madness' served as a refreshing break from their OTT-ness (we are not going to talk about 'Survival'. At all).

9.     Primadonna- Marina and the Diamonds: all I ever wanted was the world too, Marina. Bonus points for her genius tweets.

10. Girl Gone Wild- Madonna: I did not get the hate for this song when it was released and it continues to baffle me now. 

11. Thrift Shop- Macklemore and Ryan Lewis: you know you're onto a good thing when a 60 something year old ethnic man requests this song to be played all the time. Also, one of the best videos this year.

12. Bad Girls- MIA: bad girls do it well. But what is 'it'? #questionsformia

13. Every Night I Say A Prayer- Little Boots: she finally finished her second album and EVERY NIGHT I SAY A PRAYER that this song is on there (see what I did?)

14. Born To Die- Lana Del Rey: Need I say more? This song grabbed me by my non-existent gonads at the beginning of the year and refused to let go.

15. I Love It- Icona Pop: So fierce. So sassy.

16. Battle Scars- Guy Sebastian and Lupe Fiasco: first single I've liked from him in awhile. Plus he acknowledged my mother accosting him in Westfields on Twitter, so we're practically BFFs at this point.

17. Something New- Girls Aloud: GO GIRLS, G-G-G-GO-GO-GO! My body was ready for some new music from GA, though I would argue 'On The Metro' and 'Every Now And Then' are better than SN. (They didn't make the cut due to arbitrary rules that exist in my mind)

18. Pyramids- Frank Ocean: I like this one, don't sue me please.

19. Sweet Nothing/Spectrum (Say My Name)- Calvin Harris and Florence and the Machine: a pair of UK number 1 singles for this duo. I approve wholeheartedly of this pairing; the flawless ginger queen and the smexy Scottish DJ.

20. Lego House- Ed Sheeran: Rupert Grint makes an appearance here for this incredibly catchy and sweet tune.

21. Call My Name/Under The Sun- Cheryl Cole: double whammy from the Geordie princess. Where CMN is another Calvin Harris produced hit (like the shy sister of 'We foudn Love'), Under The Sun relies on the singalong bridge and chorus. Plus the double entendre of 'watch the sun go down on me/go down on me' *insert wink*. Isn't that what pop music's about peeps? (answer: yes)

22. Locked Out Of Heaven- Bruno Mars: I went from 'meh' to 'THIS IS MA JAM!' with this track in a matter of weeks. Why? BECAUSE YOUR SEX TAKES ME TO PARADISE, THAT'S WHY.

23. Laura- Bat For Lashes: beautiful and rousing. I thought about using this for my sister Laura's 21st in two years time, but it's about a sad party girl, so not really appropriate at all.

24. R U Mine- Arctic Monkeys: I don't use this word often for I am a prude and an immature young woman, but this song is incredibly sexy.

25. Skyfall- Adele: imagine Shirley Bassey doing a cover of this Adele stylee. I know I am.

26. 212- Azealia Banks: Great song, but I feel like she's already peaked.

27. Dancing With A Broken Heart- Delta Goodrem: shame this went nowhere chart wise as opposed to 'Wish You Here'. Definitely one of her best singles.

28. Your Body- Christina Aguilera: it's been a few years since I liked a Christina song, so this will do.

29. Timebomb- Kylie Minogue: good for K25 and a banging dance tune, but I'm going to need something more for the next album.

30. Diamonds- Rihanna: doing her best Sia impersonation. I don't care for her so long as she's not Instagram-ming photos of her and woman hater Chris Brown and telling us to #phuckourselves because #Naviisstrong. Yes, I don't understand that either.

Best Albums of 2012 IN ORDER

10. MDNA- Madonna

A good, not great, album from the Queen. Highlights: Masterpiece, Love Spent, Beautiful Killer

9. Devotion- Jessie Ware

Minimalist RnB, excellent late night tunes here. Highlights: Wildest Moments, Running

8. Coexist- The xx

A tighter, cohesive LP that improves on their already brilliant debut, but works better played in full. Also emphasises their love of one word titles. Highlights: Angels, Fiction, Try, Tides.

7. The Haunted Man- Bat For Lashes

Less piano driven then its predecessor and more synth-y, bar the lead single 'Laura'. Still chill inducing though. Kudos to Natasha for also posing for the NSFW cover. Highlights: Laura, Oh Yeah, A Wall, All Your Gold

6. Magic Hour- Scissor Sisters

IDGAF, judge me all you want (looking at you JB Hi Fi server 'they're still around?!?' me: 'erm, yes' :|), but I legit still love SS and this album didn't disappoint me, though I can definitely live without 'San Luis Obispo'. Highlights: Only The Horses, Inevitable, Let's Have A Kiki

5. Halcyon- Ellie Goulding

Captures the heart-ache of a relationship gone awry perfectly. Add this to your break-up album collection. Listen with kleenexes though. Again, works better played from start to finish- there's no real 'singles' on here. This seems to be a trend with albums in 2012. Highlights: Figure 8, Anything Could Happen, My Blood, JOY, Hanging On ft Tinie Tempah

4. Take The Crown- Robbie Williams

It really does sound like Coldplay meets U2 in some parts. Hook laden from start to finish. Highlights: Candy, Different, Into The Silence, Reverse

3. Abbey Road Sessions- Kylie Minogue

Subdued, acoustic and tantalising. The hints that she's given us with various arrangements in concerts lead to this collection and it's a joy to listen to. I refuse to listen to 'Wow' or 'Never Too Late' in any other incarnation now. Highlights: Hand On Your Heart, Locomotion, On A Night Like This, Wow, Never Too Late

2. Electra Heart- Marina and the Diamonds

So close to the top! A case of sophomore effort trumping debut here as she gets those hits gurl. Highlights: Homewrecker, Primadonna, Lies, Power and Control, Teen Idle, Fear and Loathing

1. Born To Die/Paradise- Lana Del Rey

This was the album of 2012 for me. It delivers on every level from start to finish, not one filler track found. The EP Paradise rounds out this era with quality tracks such as a cover of 'Blue Velvet' and the haunting 'Bel Air'. Though 'my pussy tastes like Pepsi-Cola' will never cease to make me stop in my tracks and leave me dumbfounded (life, choices)
Highlights: THE WHOLE ALBUM. Born To Die, Blue Jeans, Video Games, National Anthem, Summertime Sadness, Radio, Without You. EP: Ride, American, Cola

Special Awards:

Underrated Sleeper Album That Everyone Missed: Holiday Trip Of A Lifetime- End Of Fashion. No buzz for this at all, which is a shame because it's not a bad album in the least.

Sad Panda Award:  This award goes to an album that I had really high hopes for but it just didn't turn out to be all that and a bag of chips. Anxiety- Ladyhawke. It's not terrible but really just not as great as her debut. #sadpanda
Runner Up: Our Version Of Events: Emeli Sande. Again, not bad, but not as amazing as I had hoped. MOAR UPTEMPO PLEASE EMELI

That concludes 2012 in muzak for me. Peace out.